Tandem Gesucht!

A tandem, for those who find the term as foreign as I did when I first heard it, is basically a language swap. I've been trying to do one for quite some time but every time I find someone who seems to fit the bill, they either move or are too busy or plans just fall through. Anyways, I finally got around to putting up yet another ad on Kijiji (the German equivalent of Craigslist) seeking a tandem this Summer. In the ad, I mentioned that I was 24 and had interests in reading, writing, electronic music, cocktail parties, and so on and that I was looking for someone around the same age with the same interests so that "die sprechen kommt leicht." I already received three responses, all of which are strange and which I intend to share with you because I am a rude person:

Tandem response #1:
Even if you are looking for someone younger, I offer you my help in anyway. I am 60 years, am retired, was teacher of German and Juristerei. Gladly I am willing to teach you to grant a temporary classroom. I do it voluntarily. Common interests, we have both too. This is read, write, close, compose, play and sing. Do you like it so superior. Hope you do a nice young teacher or Studemten find. Regards Günther

Tandem response #2
i am also interested in tandem conversations.i would be nice to have some conversations in english and some in german.i am native german a i think we could help each other.im a 24 year old male sportsmen,love to party at black music,house and eletronic.i live in tempelhof airport.to kreuzberg it takes 10 minutes by car.
i am lokking foreward to see you!

Tandem response #3
Cool,
Then we can advance my englich and your german ;-)
Liebe Grüße

I responded to #3. Not that I don't like hanging out with 60 year old lawyers named Gunther or young German sportsmen who are into black music, but I feel less intimidated by simplicity.