Badeschiff Open Air

So apparently the Badeschiff has been doing open air concerts regularly for some time. Went to see one with Vesna, my new tandem partner, and her friend Jenny who both have tattoos on their wrists. It is my theory that when they put them together their super powers activate. Below is a photo of this phenomena in action:

I was pleased to see they actually do let people swim until midnight. Can't be safe with all these werewolves around.
The place was pretty packed for the concert and I felt very bad for a friend of mine who was working the bar (thank gods most Germans stick to beers and not cocktails). I felt even worse for the audience who had to sit and listen to the cheesiest Deutsch band on the planet. Isn't it a crime in Germany to rhyme "Alles klar" with "wunderbar?" Please tell me they had to pay several hundred euros in order to say that... I wish I could remember their name so I could prevent you all from ever having to hear them play. The only redeeming thing about them was that their keyboardist had a rhinestone eye patch, which I think he actually (medically) had to wear. So kudos to that guy. I did take a picture so here you go. Pass this along to everyone you love and hold dear. Tell them to beware these false minstrels:

For those who don't know what the Badeschiff is, it is a pool on a boat which is on the spree near Treptower Park. There is sand and they have a couple Jailhouse Fuck Beds for you to sit on, as well as hammocks and beach chairs if they are not already taken up by hip indie moms nursing their hip indie babies. There is a bar and they sometimes serve bratwurts and potatoes when they feel like. Entry is hella cheap and free after 9? 7? I don't remember. http://www.arena-berlin.de/badeschiff.aspx

Also took a picture of the bathroom at Arena just because it was there, calling to me, and some photos of the red lights hanging overhead (there are like a hundred of these):

Oh and the half eaten whales. We love the half eaten whales.:

More Warehouse More of the Time

Turned 25 and haven't had the chance to update. Two new spaces to add to my "things I am digging about Berlin" list:

1) PnB

Pulled an all nighter here a couple weeks ago for a 24 hour rave / art exhibition. Well, there was supposedly an art exhibition somewhere but I didn't see one. All I saw was some pretty video edits of topless 70s films spliced with grainy footage of dramatic "urban decay." Rockin' the decks upstairs was the incredible DJ Donna Summers, a friend of a friend who I'd met before but hadn't seen play live. Before he went on he asked me about this, "Have you heard me? I'm awesome," is what he told me. And let me tell you, kiddies: DJ Donner Summers is awesome. Two thumbs up for the rave happy rendition of Smells Like Teen Spirit. The downstairs floor was dedicated to experimental glitches and noise of the kind that I'm not usually too interested in. Additiv said he liked the underground feel of it. I laughed when a couple folks we met said they'd seen a flyer for the party at the hostel. Ah, so is the nature of the beast. Tourism will eat this city alive until all the city is full of tourists, taking photos of each other in front of Tacheles.

2) Raum 18

Went here this weekend for the Sameheads 3rd Birthday Bash. There was a 7 foot tall (albeit non-edible) cake blocking the doorway, 2 dance floors of bootie shaking beats, and hoards of sweaty, musky young Leute dancing around in their most avant garde Zweite Hande chugging Becks. Quite impressed by [Trap] who I'd seen flyers for everywhere but had never actually heard of. Wanted to see Clark but could not keep my eyes open past 5 a.m. Was charmed by the slaughterhouse feel to the place. Spent some time appreciating the human sized paper doll hanging from the ceiling of the smoking room while snuggly settling into a vintage dentist's chair. Also: managed to successfully complete a Frankenstein's head puzzle I was handed upon entry just before heading home. Here it is. Marvel at my talent:

BavARia

This is my friend Michael, who is Bavarian. He wants you to know that not all Bavarians are elitist. Although some are.
[Photos taken at Ankerklaus KanalBar after lots of coffee]

Yes We Camp!

So I'm throwing a little shindig for the 4th of July, you know, because I love big, sweaty Americans. So if you happen to be a big, sweaty American, come on down and bring your cute, fashionably emaciated girlfriend with you. Free cowboy hats for the first so many attendees!

Oh and the event is at a special secret location. Partially because I like to keep things underground, and partially because the place where we're throwing it wants us to keep our numbers low- to around 80 or so. So hit me up to find out the when and wheres!

Germans Don't Date

A few days ago, miss Paula Varjack--ever with her finger to the pulse of pop culture-- sent me this:

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
And it got me thinking about the subject of German dating. To be honest, I've never seen two Germans on a date together. All the couples I see out in public have obviously been together for a while.
So I asked Brian's roommate Jahn about this and he says, "No, no we don't date."
"But you have sex, right?" I asked as a follow up.
"Yes."
"But then how do people wind up in relationships?"
"Well maybe you have sex a few times and then if you like someone you go out for a date."
I was stunned.
So then I asked my friend Mella about this and she confirmed it.
"No, you have sex first. That's how I met my last boyfriend. We had sex and then after we were having sex for a while we decided to start dating."
I was aghast.
"It's not like that in the states?" She asked.
"No," and then I proceeded to explain to her about how in the states you go on a date and the guy buys you dinner. You're not expected to put out AND you get free dinner. Then after 4 or 5 dinners, you maybe sleep with him.
"Really?" She asks.
"Yeah, of course. Although sometimes instead of just dinner you go to the movies or to clubs or something. Some guys don't pay for you but many still do."
"That sounds great!" She says. "I'm moving to America!"
...

Berlin Expats Online

Because I enjoy the idea of Toytown and not necessarily the wankers who are on it all the time, a year ago I decided to create my own community called Berlin Expats. The community is on Livejournal, so you'll have to create an account if you want to post. You can read the posts without joining.

http://community.livejournal.com/berlinexpats/

And now I leave you with the trusty livejournal mascot, Frank the goat:

Musik vom Addiv

There are few things as cool as having a boyfriend who is an electronic musician. Simply the mention of dating someone who prefers twisting nobs to plucking strings or mixing beats inside a tiny metal box instead of banging them out on a full-size set of drums makes people's eyes go all wide and boggly. Of course, few have any kind of understanding of how vast the term "electronic music" truly is, and when I say this anything from Moby to Aphex Twin comes to mind and in the end very few people get an inkling of what Los's music is really like. So to set the record straight, here is a full entry dedicated to mein Mann and his audible noise.



Carlos Hinojosa aka Additiv was making music before most of us knew how to tie our shoes. Starting on the cello at the tender age of six, he grew from a classical background. But the limitations of the genre became apparent in High School and he abandoned the cello altogether for a different kind of sound. Growing up in Detroit, a city as at home with spacy, electronic noise as Berlin or London, gave him constant access to performers as diverse as Adult, Lusine, Richie Hawtin, Scan 7, Underground Resistance and notable foreigners like Miss Kittin and Vladislav Delay. After experimenting with computerized sounds based in software, Additiv began including electronic instruments and synthisized sounds into his works to create a more unique instrumental experience. His music straddles definitions of techno, glitch, noise, and drone. He is currently working on his first release which will include the tracks Rubberfist and Bolus.

Give a listen on Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/additiv

Follow Additiv on Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/additivnoise

Back in Berlin

Got back to Berlin yesterday ohne luggage. Our 4 bags got misplaced somewhere between here and Amsterdam. Los suggested that perhaps my new cocktail dress ran into his grey velveteen smoking jacket and decided to high tail it to Tahiti together, taking their comrades with them. They are back in our possession now having been dropped off by some long, skinny deutschers showing the effects of the lightning storm earlier this morning. The apartment is super clean thanks to our subleter Dolby Anol who now lives just down the street. Bandita is pudgy but happy. I am sick with something that I hope to hell isn't swine flu. Only time (and tea) will tell.

For those who are interested in seeing some nice shots of Berlin and Berlin-like-people, take a look at this short film by a good friend of mine who happens to have an excellent sense of humor: http://www.thirteen.org/sites/reel13/category/vote/

Silvester

So I started seeing signs up for Silvester parties as soon as I got home. I didn't know what Silvester was. I thought it might be linked to New Years as all the parties were on the 31st. Turns out Silvester is the German equivalent of New Years. But why call it Silvester? Carlos found this equally confusing and asked his hair dresser about it. "Silvester?" He asked, while the hair dressed took away ribbons of black and white shiny curls from his head. "Yeah, you know, like the cat," is what his hair dresser replied, hoping this would somehow explain things.

Our new years was kinda shitty. The good part was before we left the house. Brian and his friend Eduardo, who looks like Mr. July in a gay men of South America 2009 calendar, came over and had some champagne with us. Carlos's cousin Aude and her friend Marine are in from Paris so we had a nice little mini party watching drunk people shoot off M80s in the street. Then it came time to go out and Brian and Eduardo left to go to a gay club that has a labyrinth below it, you know, for sexual exploration. Aude and Marine and Carlos and I started to walk to the Ubahn, despite the fact that Brian had warned us about people setting off fireworks in the ubahn trains. Getting to the train station (which is all of a block away) was frightening enough. As we ducked and weaved among the random bursts of soot, ash, and cinder, the 20 degree frozen air shook with booms and bangs. But the worst was yet to come. In the subway it turned out people were setting off fireworks at the feet of the crowds gathered to take the night train out to Alexanderplatz. It is a miracle no one was injured. Everyone was scared shitless except for the drunk people who were too busy setting off the fireworks to notice fear. There was another group of drunk people who were actually tossing fireworks down from the street into the subway stations, blindly. It was like being mini bombed. Carlos freaked out, and we ended up taking a cab to Ritterstrasse 42, a warehouse that excels in throwing banging electro parties. The line for eintritt was about 100 people long, and the cover was a whopping 25 euro. Having gone through so much to get there, we decided to fork over the cash. In return we were granted entry to 8 different rooms and over 30 different musical acts. There was techno, electro, and hip hop performed by muppets. There were also swarms of drunken tourists. Two of the tourists were nice enough to share their drinks with the front of my blouse. Soaked and not nearly drunk enough to be passive about such a thing, I forced myself to spend a miserable 3 hours attempting to dance in a crowd of 6 ft. somethings who kept elbowing me in the head before giving up and going home. It's 5 now. Aude and Marine are still at the club. I hope they are faring better than we did. Carlos and I took a bath and ate some fancy cheese. Tomorrow I think I'm staying in. I have no new years resolutions to speak of, aside from finishing up the myriad of projects I started this year. Carlos has two resolutions. 1) To Not Die 2) To Figure Out Why He Is Living In Berlin. I already solved the second one. I'm living in Berlin to figure out why I wanted to live in Berlin so badly. I haven't quite put my finger on it. Sometimes I think the answer is pure insanity, sometimes a lack of direction, lack of money, abundance of creative spontaneity. Not quite sure. Nights like these make me hate Berlin, make me feel like a permanent tourist, like I'm living in an expat playground. I still don't think the U.S. is better, but it is definitely, in some ways, more comfortable. And I miss my friends.

How was everyone else's Silvester? Any resolutions made? Mysterious strangers kissed?

The Shit Shelf

Much as I hate blog entries which include instant messaging conversations, I feel this one adds a unique insight into my life as an expat...

Brian: my roommate went out to buy a new toilet
me: that's random
just now?
it's like 8 almost
and what happened to your old toilet?
Brian: i know weird huh? he was taking measurements for it a few min ago
it's still there
me: o.0
Brian: he said he wants a toilet without a shelf because he doesn't want to look at his shit

me: o.0
um what???
Brian: hehehe
me: a shelf?
there is a shelf in your toilet?
Brian: you know how most german toilets have a shelf?
the shit drops and rests there
so you can examine it
then you flush it and it goes away
i guess people like to find out if they're gesund
i told joscha we don't have that in the us.
me: wait wait.. you are lying right?
Brian: and he said "yeah they don't have it in france either"
no, the germans are known for being so anal retentive as to check their own shit
anyway, he's apparently rejecting his cultural mandate
i'm not lying there was an even worse on in my old apt
because it would always leave skidmarks
so you have to brush it every time...or at least i would
me: ....
this is insanity.
Brian: that would be a fun article to write!
me: that is a good way to look at it
Brian: hehe
me: yes, this is insane and disgusting. But I can write about it!
Brian: you want to do it? ok
me: no no, you should do it. i don't have a shit shelf
Brian: oh ok
me: nor do i have any shit shelf experience.
Brian: pity

Secret Club & Bi-curious Open Mouth Night

A couple days over-due. And with reason.

1. Saturday - 2 AM arrival @ Zementgarten located just foot steps away from the middle of f---ing nowhere / Lichtenberg. After wandering around dark streets lined in dilapidating apartment buildings for 10 min. am lucky enough to find boy on Ecstasy aimlessly searching for the sbahn. Wir fragen re: secret entrance to warehouse club. He points to an almost person-sized break in a sheet metal gate. Across huge former parking lot in dead warehouse city lit only by single street lamp we pull a security door. Enter moist, red dungeon of a squat party dotted in hippies dancing with drugs. Despite aversion to fusion music, manage to move feet significantly to the sounds of computers, vocoder, kazoos, and plastic bottles. Dragged butt home just shy of daylight.

2. Sunday - The Berlin poetry release of Paula Varjack aka: my friend sara from London / New York / & Washington DC- featuring: others. Others consist of: Germany's first "Mid-western mid-eastern blue grass band," a drunk girl who was supposed to MC but showed up halfway through the event to slur some words into a microphone, a British comedian whose jokes consisted mainly of using the words "cunt" and "crisps" in succession, and a band of Romanian minstrels dressed in druidic-looking robes. This madness (survived by no less than 2 gin and tonics) was followed by a trip to nearby 8 mm where the very bad man of a DJ encouraged sara's unruly throng to dance on chairs, have a make-out huddle, and sing along to "Roxanne." There was much making out between the girls and f*ing in the bathrooms, especially after my group converged with a gaggle of blond Danish 20-somethings who were impressed with our belligerence. I alone abstained and was subsequently told by the bartender that I didn't look like I was having a good time. 3 bottles of beer later I had made friends with everyone, but holding strong to my promise not to catch mono refrained from the all-girl tongue lashing. None-the-less, an Olympicly persistent Swedish girl insisted upon giving me her phone number and myspace "just in case I come to Stockholm for sexy orgy." Did not beat daylight on the long, cold bike ride home. And am still haunted by the memories.

Making Out In The Deep Freeze

This weekend I made out in a deep freezer. Today, my throat is killing me.

Fury in the Slaughterhouse: Lightning Fields: A Pirate Bar

We've been busy the past couple days because my good friend Avri and his friend Cliff came to stay with us on Thursday. The main goal of their trip (in addition to seeing me/Berlin) was to go to a concert for a band that Cliff has been a huge fan of for many many years called Fury in the Slaughterhouse. The concert was on Friday and we rented a car and drove for hours in traffic and rain (or I should say Carlos drove for hours in traffic and rain) to Hannover. The concert itself was maybe not my biggest cup of tea. But I think Cliff at least had a good time as the band dedicated a song to him for coming all the way from America (and the drummer's wife later called him insane). Carlos and I had a pretty miserable time as we did not have backstage passes and spent much of the time after the concert dodging drunken Hannoverins and trying to figure out where the car was in the rain. We didn't get back until 5 and fell asleep upon arrival. After returning the car the next day, we realized we had paid over 200 euros for the whole experience, which is about 75 dollars each. This morning on the table there was a note written to Carlos from Avri stating his gratitude and suggesting that we had all gotten into more than we had bargained for.

On Saturday, Los and I went to the Sugimoto exhibit at the Neu National Gallery. Sugimoto was at the De Young Museum last year so a lot of the works on display we had already seen. But his newest segment, Lightning Fields, is simply amazing. Negatives of photos of lightning bolts were hung in front of a lit screen (much in the same way x-rays are observed by doctors). The result is that you can see all the "fibers" of the bolts, and the intricate root-like patterns mirrored in other bolts. It was pretty amazing. We took home a poster of his picture of the diorama at Madame Tussards of Henry the 8th. Sugimoto's website is here in case you want to take a look: http://www.sugimotohiroshi.com/ We also saw a temporary exhibit on Rupprecht Geiger who is now 100 years old and experimenting with bright neon colors that are almost too much for human perception. Take that young people.

Sunday we tried to find fun stuff in Berlin amuse our visitors with, but as it was raining not much could be found. We mostly ended up wandering trying to find the Jewish Museum but never did. We stopped at Yaam (a reggae club that was supposed to be having a festival) which was nearly vacant and infested with bees. Los went home. The rest of us went to a pirate bar and had drinks while waiting for a band featuring a violin, guitar, drumset, accordian, and a unicycle (or so we thought) to set up. While waiting, one of Berlin's colorful locals with a bit too much alcohol in 'em came over and started talking to us about the Police. He started off by singing "Sending out an SOS" (which was the song currently on the itunes shuffle lazily abandoned by the bartender). Then he crouched down in front of the table so he was eye level with us and told us how he had seen Sting play at the Ziegman Sea (?) in Overalls(!) And do you know what he was singing?" he asked us incredulously. "No, what?" "He was singing..." his voice escalated rapidly to the point where he was screaming, "about the RHINE!" The small, disinterested waitress came over and with a wristful series of hand gestures told the gentleman to leave. We decided at this point to leave and went to Burgermeister (a sub-metro hamburger joint where railings with padding = seats) for dinner where we overheard a festival band doing covers of "Jump, Jump" "Just Like A Pill" and other songs featured in "NOW" CDs. We went back to the Pirate Bar to see if the unicycle band was up an running. It was, but only in the usual way bar bands are. We left. Went home. Fell asleep.

My 4th of July

-Fireworks: none (naturally)
-Drinks consumed: 1 glass rose, 0,5 liters Hefeweisen
-Strangers hitting on my friend Sandra who insisted on sitting at our table and holding long awkward conversations with her: 05
-Languages spoken (by me): 04 (by others): 06
-Insults (re: Bush and / or the USA): 11
-Insults (re: my appearance / my gemischt gypsy heritage): 03
-Returned Home: EARLY - approx. 12:30
-Rain: constant, but unenthusiastic.

Electroclas & Bikes @ MauerPark

Our first week has been full of excitement, adventure and bicycles. More specifically, yesterday we went to the flea market with Miguel aka: Kid606 and bought bikes. It was the first time we had really been out in a few days due to partying as hard as we do during the weekdays (par example: Friday we saw Mochipet and stayed out until 8 in the morning at a bar called Molotov Cocktail which serves actual flaming bottles of sweet sweet fury!). It was nice to be awake before 3 for a change, and get to do something productive. The flea market gave me chills as it reminded me so much of the Ashby fleamarket in Berkeley from the hipsters digging through tables of retro clothing to the herbal mineral supplements in hand-labeled brown glass jars. As our main purpose was to get bikes, I decided to stick to that this time around, although I did develop a fancy for many of the hand-made animals, t-shirts and dolls which I may have to go back for. Carlos lucked out and got a really nice old-fashioned blue town bike. I got what the man who sold it to me said was a kid's bike, but as Miguel claims I'm "the size of a kid anyway" so I guess it's okay >^_^< We rode the bikes home, avoiding the touristy mess that is Alexanderplatz, and got lach crepes in Mitte for lunch. One odd thing I noticed about my bike on the ride home is that the splash guard has a screw loose and so when I go fast it rattles and sounds like shooting bullets. Even stranger, when I put the brakes on the tires make a whizzing sound like a bomb dropping. This has led me to the conclusion that my bike is apparently possessed by World War One. Be this as it may, it'll be so nice to have a(n inexpensive) way to get around town (apparently u-bahn monthly passes cost 70 euro - about 100 bucks!) Now I just need to get some turtlenecks and big goofy hats to keep the wind from destroying my face while riding my bike in winter.
0.o Speaking of housing, today we're going to look at a sublet right down the street from us. I hope it works out! We have to give notice on the 15th if we're planning to move out, and hopefully we are. It's not that I don't like the boarding house but I'd like to find a permanent place so I can start settling in.