Kinky Blowfeld

Saw this across the spree while eating dinner at the Bar 25 restaurant. Dirty Kikiblofeld.

Badeschiff Open Air

So apparently the Badeschiff has been doing open air concerts regularly for some time. Went to see one with Vesna, my new tandem partner, and her friend Jenny who both have tattoos on their wrists. It is my theory that when they put them together their super powers activate. Below is a photo of this phenomena in action:

I was pleased to see they actually do let people swim until midnight. Can't be safe with all these werewolves around.
The place was pretty packed for the concert and I felt very bad for a friend of mine who was working the bar (thank gods most Germans stick to beers and not cocktails). I felt even worse for the audience who had to sit and listen to the cheesiest Deutsch band on the planet. Isn't it a crime in Germany to rhyme "Alles klar" with "wunderbar?" Please tell me they had to pay several hundred euros in order to say that... I wish I could remember their name so I could prevent you all from ever having to hear them play. The only redeeming thing about them was that their keyboardist had a rhinestone eye patch, which I think he actually (medically) had to wear. So kudos to that guy. I did take a picture so here you go. Pass this along to everyone you love and hold dear. Tell them to beware these false minstrels:

For those who don't know what the Badeschiff is, it is a pool on a boat which is on the spree near Treptower Park. There is sand and they have a couple Jailhouse Fuck Beds for you to sit on, as well as hammocks and beach chairs if they are not already taken up by hip indie moms nursing their hip indie babies. There is a bar and they sometimes serve bratwurts and potatoes when they feel like. Entry is hella cheap and free after 9? 7? I don't remember. http://www.arena-berlin.de/badeschiff.aspx

Also took a picture of the bathroom at Arena just because it was there, calling to me, and some photos of the red lights hanging overhead (there are like a hundred of these):

Oh and the half eaten whales. We love the half eaten whales.:

More Warehouse More of the Time

Turned 25 and haven't had the chance to update. Two new spaces to add to my "things I am digging about Berlin" list:

1) PnB

Pulled an all nighter here a couple weeks ago for a 24 hour rave / art exhibition. Well, there was supposedly an art exhibition somewhere but I didn't see one. All I saw was some pretty video edits of topless 70s films spliced with grainy footage of dramatic "urban decay." Rockin' the decks upstairs was the incredible DJ Donna Summers, a friend of a friend who I'd met before but hadn't seen play live. Before he went on he asked me about this, "Have you heard me? I'm awesome," is what he told me. And let me tell you, kiddies: DJ Donner Summers is awesome. Two thumbs up for the rave happy rendition of Smells Like Teen Spirit. The downstairs floor was dedicated to experimental glitches and noise of the kind that I'm not usually too interested in. Additiv said he liked the underground feel of it. I laughed when a couple folks we met said they'd seen a flyer for the party at the hostel. Ah, so is the nature of the beast. Tourism will eat this city alive until all the city is full of tourists, taking photos of each other in front of Tacheles.

2) Raum 18

Went here this weekend for the Sameheads 3rd Birthday Bash. There was a 7 foot tall (albeit non-edible) cake blocking the doorway, 2 dance floors of bootie shaking beats, and hoards of sweaty, musky young Leute dancing around in their most avant garde Zweite Hande chugging Becks. Quite impressed by [Trap] who I'd seen flyers for everywhere but had never actually heard of. Wanted to see Clark but could not keep my eyes open past 5 a.m. Was charmed by the slaughterhouse feel to the place. Spent some time appreciating the human sized paper doll hanging from the ceiling of the smoking room while snuggly settling into a vintage dentist's chair. Also: managed to successfully complete a Frankenstein's head puzzle I was handed upon entry just before heading home. Here it is. Marvel at my talent:

BavARia

This is my friend Michael, who is Bavarian. He wants you to know that not all Bavarians are elitist. Although some are.
[Photos taken at Ankerklaus KanalBar after lots of coffee]

Prinzenstrasse

The bubble gum pink lighting and rafters above Prinzenstrasse Ubahn. Notice anything strange? Know whose idea it was and where I can get their autograph?

The (New) East Side Gallery

This weekend I went by the East Side Gallery (the longest remaining stretch of the Berlin Wall used as an open air gallery) to see the new paintings. I can't say I'm 100% pleased with the results. Granted, some of the old paintings were a bit cheesy but some of the new ones are simply hideous. I don't know who curates these things, but I'm willing to bet the bureaucrats had something to do with it and as we all know bureaucrats are notorious for having terrible taste in art (Merkel still swears by Thomas Kinkade). Because I cherish you, dear readers, I've chosen NOT to share photos of the terrible bits of the wall that will make you gag and want to bludgeon your own eyes out with bottle caps. Instead, I've snapped a few of the good paintings, one restored, and some of the unpainted sections for contrast. Enjoy. (As always, click if you want it bigger, or just shout at your screen)

The Punk Boat

There's this boat docked on one side of the Landwehrkanal near Grimmstrasse that I've been wondering about for a year and a half now. At first it was just sitting there, abandoned, unloved, and full of what looked like a lot of rubbish and furniture. Then it started to get graffitied more and more. Then people started sneaking on to it at night to have beers. Then people started sneaking on to it in broad daylight to have beers and SOMEBODY (I don't know who) decided that a bunch of barbed wire was in order to detour trespassers. A week (or less) later the barbed wire was gone and people were jumping over to go drink booze and graffiti the hell out of the boat again. I still have yet to do either myself, although I'll admit desperately to wanting to do both someday, when the moment is right.

Jannis Kounellis & The Materials of Basic Needs

Yesterday we went to the neue nationalgalerie and saw an exhibit by
Jannis Kounellis that we had seen a flyer for at a cafe:
www.smb.museum. It was a very strange exhibit- mostly a labyrinth of
10 ft high iron walls (partially rusted- a sign before the exhibit
said "Danger: The walls of the labyrinth may be dirty") and as you
wandered through you would find certain artifacts- an egg, a bit of
cotton with a fly on it, bags of coal seated in a circle of chairs, empty
coffeee bean sacks that had been strewn together to make a blanket,
rolled up raincoats (maybe) with knives poking out of them. Very bizarre.

As most of the "artifacts" had to do with civilization and necessary
materials in particular I took it to mean something along the lines
that man often lives in poverty- spending his whole life to gain
access to the materials that make life possible- food, coal, blankets-
the bare necessities. Man spends more and more time trying to find
these things until eventually he finds himself in a maze- unable to
escape his search for the materials necessary to satisfy his basic needs. As for what this indicates, I can
only think one of two things: 1) that art is a luxury those in poverty
can't afford or 2) this struggle is in and of itself an artform- it is basic and human in nature and something that needn't go unrepresented. It's
hard to tell which. Carlos seemed to think- more or
less- that the exhibit expressed how 3rd world countries are exploited
for their resources (many of the artifacts were obviously from
argentina or other historically exploited countries).
At any rate, very interesting. Some more photos are
located here: http://www.smb.museum/smb/presse/image_list.php?id_gruppe=109〈=de&n=3

Liquidrom

I'm going here tomorrow because I neeeed it, damnit.

SO36 Bilder

Spaceman


Brick walls

Mission Accomplished

1. Went to an interview for a job as a Business English Trainer (they gave me some tips on where to go for my intensive course and told me to come back in 4 months when I speak German)
2. Signed the lease for the new apartment (the rental agency gave us a free bottle of wine as a welcome gift! Can you imagine a landlord in the bay area doing something like that?)
3. Decided on a health insurance plan (which is actually pretty cheap if paid in USD as the conversion rate is not up to date- awesome)
4. Went grocery shopping at the Turkish Market- 1 euro each for bay leaves, chili, and other necessary spices. Not to mention: I love the Italian pasta guy. $4.50 for a ton of handmade pasta with truffle filling? Also: decided to get a pint of the freshly made hummus. That stuff goes fast.
5. Reserved a spot for both Carlos and I in the VHS intensive course. I think this will do just fine as for getting us our student visa. The instructor said so herself, and a few others have mentioned it would be okay.

A Trip To Tropical Islands & The Emergency Room

Carlos had an accident at Tropical Islands yesterday (this water fun park outside of Berlin) on one of the water slides. The slide malfunctioned and he was stranded on the slide for 10 seconds when two guys came down behind him, hitting him in the back. They took him to the emergency room to see if he had any broken bones or anything, but luckily it turned out to be damage to muscle tissue, not bone. The whole ordeal was awful- the ambulance, seeing him in a stretcher, not being able to make out what the medics or park personnel were saying... And the whole process was delayed at several points because they kept shoving paperwork in our faces- paperwork we couldn't read but had to sign before they would help him. This was supposed to be our chance to relax after all this craziness with visas and house hunting. Instead it turned out to be a nightmare. I'm so glad he's okay. He could have been seriously injured, and I'm very lucky (we're both lucky) that he's alright. Today we're trying to take it easy and relax, but it's not easy. I can't believe that little kids are going on these slides where there are no lifeguards present and there are no medical emergency personnel on site. I also can't believe that the park isn't going to cover any of it (which is what the manager said to us point blank before they loaded Carlos into the ambulance). Hopefully Carlos's insurance will cover most of it and the bills won't add even more to the stressful situation. I suppose these things happen to us when our number is up. I know many of you have had even worse things to deal with this year. I can't imagine what I would be like right now if it had been anything worse... I'm on edge enough right now as it is, but so so happy it isn't worse.

Journey To The Center of the Kit Kat Club

Okay, so Carlos and I had been joking for a long time about going to the Kit Kat Club- home of Berlin's most well-known, long-loved S&M /kink / fetishy-type szene. Although Carlos and I are certainly not leading each other around the house via dog collar or strapping each other to that awful 1990s couch in our boarding house, the Kit Kat Club has such tremendous noteriety that I figured, as new neighbors, going there was a necessary part of our initiation as Berliners.

(Above: Dresscode for the Kit Kat Club)
Firstly, let me say that I have never been to the Kit Kat's sister club in San Francisco- The Power Exchange, but I imagine the Kit Kat Club is a lot like it in certain ways. There were lots of naked people, lots of half-naked people, a few trannys, some people having sex upstairs, girls in their underwear, vinyl, leather, nurse costumes, cop costumes, and a plethora of odd decorations such as gynecology chairs and metal toilets strewn throughout the black, humid interior. The walls were painted in elaborate blacklight sensitive murals with men, women, and everything in between partaking in a myriad of activities in the "done while naked" category. After I got over the initial shock of seeing nude, untethered penis flopping this way and that I realized that most of the clientele were actually pretty respectful of each other's space. Of course there were two things that helped with this. A) Most of the men there were gay men, and B) there were a great deal of couples dotting the dance floor. I never once had anyone try to grab me, or even hit on me, although I can't say the same of Carlos who is like a bunny at the dog tracks to clean cut gay men and trashy goth girls. Another thing- the music was quite good, resident DJs DramaNui (sassy redhead) and Clark Kent (butch gay extraordinaire) spinning a mix of electro, mashup, and techno that wasn't too cheesy or too eclectic, but frightfully danceable. I was a little disappointed to find only two dance floors as the Kit Kat Club recently took over the notorious Sage Club (which used to have 4 floors of banging techno with a pool in the middle from what I hear) but this is the nature of the unstoppable metamorphosis that is the Berlin club scene. We arrived at 2 and left sometime around 5, needing to escape the unbearable humidity, not to mention rest our feet and morals. I can't say I'm planning on becoming a regular, but could certainly see myself wandering in here on one of those nights that needs more craziness or leather men.