Yes We Camp!

So I'm throwing a little shindig for the 4th of July, you know, because I love big, sweaty Americans. So if you happen to be a big, sweaty American, come on down and bring your cute, fashionably emaciated girlfriend with you. Free cowboy hats for the first so many attendees!

Oh and the event is at a special secret location. Partially because I like to keep things underground, and partially because the place where we're throwing it wants us to keep our numbers low- to around 80 or so. So hit me up to find out the when and wheres!

Itunes Hates Expats

So apparently the Itunes Store, where I used to get all my slick American movies and tunes, is USA-only now, which means I can't rent Fast Food Nation tonight for the low low price of just under three American dollars.

Now some of you might be wondering why I'm complaining. After all, don't they have video stores in Germany? Yes, yes they do. But they are strange. Let me tell you why: In the U.S. the normal period for a rental is something like 3 - 5 days. In Germany, it's more like a few hours. You're expected to watch the movie and return it after you're done with it. Sure, you can keep it till the next day, but this will be double or sometimes triple the cost. Crazy isn't it?

This isn't as big an issue as finding movies I want to watch that are in English anyways, particularly new releases which don't come out until (sometimes) a year after their US debut, and then sometimes not at all if the film isn't a cheesy blockbuster. Guess I'll just have to raid Divxmoviesonline again and hope I can find something that isn't a cam or a glitchy file.

On a side note I did get a good laugh last year when I was walking through Videoworld (Germany's Blockbuster Video) and I saw that- not only did they have a section for "stoner films"- but in it, sandwiched between Cheech n' Chong and Detroit Rock City was Lord of the Rings. You know, because Legolas LOVES the herb.

Germans Don't Date

A few days ago, miss Paula Varjack--ever with her finger to the pulse of pop culture-- sent me this:

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
And it got me thinking about the subject of German dating. To be honest, I've never seen two Germans on a date together. All the couples I see out in public have obviously been together for a while.
So I asked Brian's roommate Jahn about this and he says, "No, no we don't date."
"But you have sex, right?" I asked as a follow up.
"Yes."
"But then how do people wind up in relationships?"
"Well maybe you have sex a few times and then if you like someone you go out for a date."
I was stunned.
So then I asked my friend Mella about this and she confirmed it.
"No, you have sex first. That's how I met my last boyfriend. We had sex and then after we were having sex for a while we decided to start dating."
I was aghast.
"It's not like that in the states?" She asked.
"No," and then I proceeded to explain to her about how in the states you go on a date and the guy buys you dinner. You're not expected to put out AND you get free dinner. Then after 4 or 5 dinners, you maybe sleep with him.
"Really?" She asks.
"Yeah, of course. Although sometimes instead of just dinner you go to the movies or to clubs or something. Some guys don't pay for you but many still do."
"That sounds great!" She says. "I'm moving to America!"
...

Tandem Gesucht!

A tandem, for those who find the term as foreign as I did when I first heard it, is basically a language swap. I've been trying to do one for quite some time but every time I find someone who seems to fit the bill, they either move or are too busy or plans just fall through. Anyways, I finally got around to putting up yet another ad on Kijiji (the German equivalent of Craigslist) seeking a tandem this Summer. In the ad, I mentioned that I was 24 and had interests in reading, writing, electronic music, cocktail parties, and so on and that I was looking for someone around the same age with the same interests so that "die sprechen kommt leicht." I already received three responses, all of which are strange and which I intend to share with you because I am a rude person:

Tandem response #1:
Even if you are looking for someone younger, I offer you my help in anyway. I am 60 years, am retired, was teacher of German and Juristerei. Gladly I am willing to teach you to grant a temporary classroom. I do it voluntarily. Common interests, we have both too. This is read, write, close, compose, play and sing. Do you like it so superior. Hope you do a nice young teacher or Studemten find. Regards Günther

Tandem response #2
i am also interested in tandem conversations.i would be nice to have some conversations in english and some in german.i am native german a i think we could help each other.im a 24 year old male sportsmen,love to party at black music,house and eletronic.i live in tempelhof airport.to kreuzberg it takes 10 minutes by car.
i am lokking foreward to see you!

Tandem response #3
Cool,
Then we can advance my englich and your german ;-)
Liebe Grüße

I responded to #3. Not that I don't like hanging out with 60 year old lawyers named Gunther or young German sportsmen who are into black music, but I feel less intimidated by simplicity.

Berlin Expats Online

Because I enjoy the idea of Toytown and not necessarily the wankers who are on it all the time, a year ago I decided to create my own community called Berlin Expats. The community is on Livejournal, so you'll have to create an account if you want to post. You can read the posts without joining.

http://community.livejournal.com/berlinexpats/

And now I leave you with the trusty livejournal mascot, Frank the goat: